Gift

Dear Craigslist,

Thanks a pantload for selling my husband this charming piece of furniture. Just recently I found myself thinking that what my bathroom really needed was one of these things. Right in the middle of the floor. So I’m glad to have that crisis solved.

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I hear this unique item was quite the steal. Almost as good a deal as that baffling rack full of bicycle tires (not even wheels, just tires) you sold to him last year. Sadly, those hang in the garage where I cannot fully appreciate them. This is much better.

I could tell he knew I’d be wary of this new addition by the way he instantly volleyed the “it’s my Father’s Day present!” defense. Playing on my lazy, slackass gift shopping tendency by pre-buying one’s own gift. Well played, Craigslist/Jeff. I guess this is what I get for picking out my own mothers day present (an electric tooth brush, because I know how to party).

The best part of this gift is that it is interactive. Approximately every 34 seconds, as he hangs upside down, Jeff asks me what time it is. I assume this is because he has a goal time? He won’t tell me though. Just keeps asking the time and then saying,”oh” when I answer. That’s super fun as I lay in bed trying to read or watch reality TV.

In closing, I’m going to turn the other cheek on this one but I’m watching you, Craigslist. So help us all if you ever sell him that conversion van the two of you like to talk about.

Regards,

K

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