The Long Run That Wasn’t

Set out on a 16 mile long run this morning. I started at 6am to beat the expected 106 degree heat wave today.

I took a picture. Just one and it was pre-run but its still a picture which makes a blog more appealing, yes?


What’s not appealing about the picture? 6am and 76 degrees.

Oddly the heat ended up not being a problem at all. I was most definitely a sweat swamped mess but it didn’t bother me. No my bother kicked up just before the 2 mile mark when my left upper outer butt/top of hip (totally anatomically correct term, look it up) started hurting like a raging mo fo. Youch. I somewhat suspect this is from my track workout on Thursday. I can feel the pain more when I am turning on that leg and I wonder if the repeated turning on that leg on the track irritated it. Plus I always seem to hurt myself in some weird place when I throw down some speed. Probably this is a sign and I should heed it. Probably I should have also stopped running at the two mile mark today but we all know I didn’t, right?

Instead of stopping at the 2 mile mark, I hit pause on the old Garmin and flopped down to the ground to perform some awkward stretching in public.

Even better? I was in a country club neighborhood.

Even even better? The cyclist who stopped to make sure I was okay because he thought I fell down.

And the best part?

He stopped when I was doing this. Yeah, hey there, nice to meet you! No I’m good. Just laying here like a buffoon.

(that’s not me. I found it here. Look, honey, I Binged!)

So I got up and kept running. And it kept hurting but it wasn’t getting any worse. Around mile 6 my left knee started to get little wonky ache to it. I knew this was not a good sign. My chiro once was working a knot out of my hip when suddenly he said, “If you have this knot in your hip I bet it also hurts right here” and jabbed his elbow into the back of my knee. I had no idea that I had pain there until he found it for me. Hip and knee pains, man, they’re like peanut butter and jelly apparently. Or cupcakes and cheeseburgers. Yes that’s more likely.

I still kept running because I had to get back to the car anyway. I was still kind of considering trying to run past the car for a couple extra miles. That’s when my right butt cheek was all, “oh hellfuckno” and started hurting at mile 8. So I quit when I got to the car at mile 10. But I was cranky about it and I still am.

The knee and right butt cheek situation already feel fine again so I assume they were just achy from compensating from the hip. I get it. Nobody likes a slack ass coworker. I’ve rolled and stretched the left hip/butt area and it feels somewhat better. We’ll see. Or else we’ll see the Chiro on Monday I suppose.

Even though the speedwork is probably responsible for the death of my long run today I have to say I had a great track workout this week. I did a two mile warm up and then 4×800 and managed 3:52, 3:56, 3:56 and 4. Now I’m not fending off phone calls from Tracktown or anything but that’s pretty speedy for me. I was so pumped up when I finished the track work that I went inside and hopped on a treadmill. Before you think I’m trying to go all overachiever on you, just know that the spontaneous treadmill work had more to do with the time remaining on my free child care allotment for the day. On the treadmill I did four miles. I started each mile at a 10 minute mile pace and then dropped it faster and faster, finishing each mile at an 8:00 minute mile pace.

And that is the story of how I broke my left butt.

The End.

Heh. That was kind of a pun. Get it?

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