Patriotic

On our way home from a road trip to Maryland in July, Jeff noticed that the little round mirror on my drivers side view mirror was coming loose. I think he originally stuck these extra little mirrors on my car because he wanted driving a minivan to be even more humiliating than it already was. And to that I say, bitch please. Me and my van are total BFFs. You know where one friend looks a lot hotter just because the other friend is so ugly.

Even though we were barreling down highway 81 at full speed, he became very concerned that this mirror would fall off and be lost forever. Apparently this mirror cost like $1.97 and he did not want to see it go to waste. I should point out that the mirror has hung for probably 2-3 years so one could say he’s gotten his money’s worth. But in order to say that one would have to not know my husband very well. Remind to show you the stash of cardboard stereo boxes he has saved for “just in case”. We’ve had them 7 years, even moved once in that time, and never have these boxes been used. They have their own attic above the garage. He doesn’t think I know they are still there but I do.

Anyway I rummaged in my purse and this was the best thing I could come up with because I don’t chew gum. Nor do I carry a hot glue gun.

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A flag bandaid that my Dad gave my son back in May. Dad offered it to Denny not knowing that Denny is philosophically opposed to bandaids. Denny ran screaming from the room and I had to hide the bandaid. Its been in my purse since May, wrapper all peeling of and getting mangy. I gave it to Jeff who put the window down and performed this delicate repair while driving 80mph on hwy 81 on Monday, July 16th.

And it’s still there. And it probably will stay there forever because that’s the lazy ass way we roll.

The other day Anna asked why the bandaid was still there. I told her it was holding the mirror on (duh!?) and she said, “Oh I thought it was because we really like America” and I replied, “well of course, that too!”

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